Close-up of human hands clasped together in unity against white backdropI always did like that Beatles song. I’m hoping its still true.

Help!?!

I have always prided myself as being independent, self-sufficient, and I focus primarily on my little family unit: Terri, Caitie, and Kai. That makes it difficult for me to be the social animal that I am. I no longer have that interaction because I do not work anymore. It also makes me a bit stubborn when it comes to asking for help, socially and physically. And this does not help. Terri’s parents and my acupuncturist, Lynn (who I do view as a good friend) have been the only people I see on a regular basis. Two other friends in Columbia have come by to visit… thank you, it was a joy to see you.

Social Invitation

I would like to send out an open invitation to all of you to come by and visit us. I think Terri and I have become recluses and some companionship would be wonderful. If I’ve given you the impression I’m deathly ill… I’m not. But do ask that you are not ill or recovering from an illness I might catch. I do have to be careful in public places and for the time being really am physically weak because I lost 25 lbs of muscle over the last 4 months. I started physical therapy (YEAAA!) so I can gain my strength back and not hurt myself.

A short story… last weekend feeling confident that I was actually stronger than I am, lifted a door we want to install in our computer room/museum (all the Apple toys Terri and I have collected over 25 years of being Apple geeks). So I pulled a muscle in my back. Ouch! To be honest the pain is incredible and hurts just to breath deeply. This morning I took Kai to school. I parked in our driveway and couldn’t get out of the truck. So I took some emergency pain killers I keep on hand and waited 40 min so I could walk 30 feet to the door and go sit up in bed. I certainly was not going to call someone to get me out of the car, while they were at work. It was then that I realized we needed help. Not to help me out of the truck, but 40 min. gives you time to think about life. I went onto Facebook and found out one of my friends (not living in Columbia) got married in March… I had no idea.

But let’s face it, March was a difficult month for me and our family. If you didn’t know… start with post: Linda Mason, My Mom, through the Year 1 – Day 50 (skip the “soapbox section and the post: “Stop the Secrecy”). It seems we are just surviving, not living life. We are tired and feeling lonely. I’m certainly not guilting or blaming anyone. Terri and I miss you and are reaching out. Call and stop by, or email us. We know most of you live way outside Columbia and would never expect you to come visit, but an email would be awesome.

A Physical Invitation

As you may know, a transplant patient needs a caregiver. Someone he or she can rely on to be there and help out how and when and whatever is needed. Terri has been my only caregiver for a year. Gwen really stepped up when we needed her the most (twice) and took me to the hospital and took our kids when I was transported to Saint Louis. Thank you very much, Gwen!

We are kinda in a bind right now, because of the shape my body is in. And I am stubborn cuz I hate to ask for help. It makes me feel uncomfortable. That is my problem I need to get over. So I am asking for some low level help. A hand or two. Terri needs a weekend off once a month to regain some “sanity”, sometimes she will want to go hang out with friends, sometimes she just needs to unwind and be alone. She is tired and exhausted all the time. I can take care of the kids during these weekends, I just need someone to call or come by to make sure me and the kids are alright.

Ugh… the hard part. We also need help with our yard and garage. Its spring and they both need a bit of spring cleaning and some love and care. Perhaps it is too much to ask, I’ve never had to before. But we really do need help. Lunch, beer and/or wine (or sodas) will be there for you. Terri and I just cannot do it… her parents are in their 70s and help out all the time watching the kids, but I will not ask for more from them. They have been great! And the best part, it will give us time to visit with you and reconnect. We do miss you. And those of you who live outside Missouri go with the Social Invitation, and email or just saying Hi on Facebook would brighten our day.

With much love and hope,

Mark and Terri

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10 Comments

  1. So glad you are reaching out!

  2. Elton and I are working on something. We’ll figure some of it out and coordinate with you all.

    • Zac and Elton… thank you! Practically anytime works for me (us). Zac just don’t let Elton overdue it and hurt his back again. Going thru that now and it really hurts. 🙁

  3. Hi Cousin-
    I have been thinking about you for many years, even before you got sick, as it has just been too long since i’ve seen you! I think of you a such a nice sweet kid who always seemed to get in trouble even when trying not to. Then later as a young man seeking some truth from the world. I hope you have found it! Where are you exactly? So Carolina? I am well, my kids are well, both college students now. I think you should check out what I do for a career. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. http://www.methodsforsuccess.com
    Much love and luck to you! If I was closer I’d come and help you with your house!
    -Lorette

    • Lorette, nice website. It looks like and certainly opens the door to many conversations about how children learn. And that is always a topic I enjoy discussing. But nope… we’re living in Columbia, Mo

  4. Linda Senenfelder

    Wish we lived closer Mark. You know his much I love those kids of yours. But being in California it is a bit too far for a. Visit. If we happen to get out that way we would love to stop and see the 4 of you. I’m sureTerry is whipped.
    Just know that you l are in our prayers and have been since all this started. We send you our love and some pixie dust to hp you smile. Lots of love always

  5. Mark , thinking of you all. Wish we. Were closer to just hang out. Thoughts and prayers go out to your family.

  6. You know just having someone to chat with whether email or via IM helps out quite a bit, Thanks for the prayers too.

  7. Thank you for reaching out Mark. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Faith, will, and a strong family unit gives us the strength we need. I’m relieved to hear you are in recovery.